#GREAT JOB TO POON

[bl-bam-beyond2-sidecoupleblog]

WE ARE: THE SERIES (2024, THAILAND)

Episode 14

Some special moments between Chain (NATARIT WORAKORNLERTSITH aka MARC) and his best friend slash secret love Pun (POON MITPAKDEE)

At this point I'll take what I can get.

@pose4photoml @lutawolf @just-another-boyslove-blog @absolutebl @wanderlust-in-my-soul

[respectthepetty]

Before episode three of Perfect 10 Liners continued the love story of these two color-coded boys in love,

It gave me small glimpses of the other color-coded boys in love.

And I'm intrigued by the Lapis Lads.

I don't know if Faifa is truly flirting with Wine or if this casual affection is the norm for him since Yotha threatened him to not behave with Wine as he had with other people, but I think that is the point.

Wine won't be able to tell if Faifa likes him or if this is all just part of Faifa's personality.

Unlike these two where it's obvious one likes to annoy and the other likes to act as if he is annoyed,

Wine seems impersonal and sad, so if he can't get a proper read on Faifa, who comes across as aloof and nosy, I'm going to eat them up because this is truly a battle of two Blue Boys making the worst impression on each other through their color's worst traits.

Just like Red Rascal Arc is leaving a horrible impression on me since the show is determined to remind me he is a Manchester United fan every single week! I don't care if he has Rashford's red jersey! GET IT OUTTA HERE!

And just like that, I'm sent back into the past where Arc has just caused and accident due to his road rage, and Yellow Yal Arm is just "no biggie" about it all. He seems kinda into it actually.

But I don't have to dwell on that kink too long because Blue Boy Sand, in his "relationship" shirt, is clearly already dating Orange Oddity Pond, with his very orange Thai tea and Spider Man hoodie, so as a person who sat through sixteen episodes of We Are for Marc x Poon, I'm thankful my prayers were answered in this series. Amen.

I'm also feeling Blue Boy Warm being in contact with Arc's mom because I see you, Mrs. Robinson! Arc better watch out before he gets a new daddy. Purple Person Cop knows. He sees the writing on the wall.

I'm going to ignore the elephant in the room, or the tiny worm if you ask Pipo, because I want to point out that JJ is looking very adorable in this show, and this scene gave me time to really notice all the yellow in Arm's room. The elephant is hiding behind the yellow couch, but also there is a yellow clock, his yellow bag, and the subways in the painting are also yellow.

I like that in an effort to ignore the elephant he saw, Green Guy Pipo changed his shirt to an Apocalypse Now shirt.

Where would Arm and Arc be without their Blue Boy Besties? LOST and friendless, that's where!

Arc wants Arm to know more about him, but all Arm needs to know is Arc's color is red; therefore, he has anger issues, he is persistent to the point of stalking, and the sex will be 🔥🌶🔥, but somehow, I think Arm already knows.

Orange Oddity Pond is doing such a great job communicating and taking up all of Sand's attention while also giving rides. This is how you balance the negative with the positive as an Oddity. You hear that Peaceful Property's Somkid!

Color-coded boys in love and their friend Steve.

It's real gay of Arc to keep staring at Arm's lips while berating him. It's giving >instigating a fight so his hands will be on me< and, once again, I think they are both aware of this.

And I end the episode with their color-coded gears interlocking before the preview decided to show me a bottle being smashed over Arm's head.

But at least he'll be wearing a color-coded appropriate smiley face shirt when it happens!

Because color-coded boys in love get happy endings, even if car accidents and bar fights are part of the journey to that happy ending.

I see you, kinksters.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm having a GREAT time

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7-8 of 12 - I do love these 2 a lot. It’s such a slow burn sweet comforting quiet little romance. It’s not complicated, it’s not stretching my thoughts or imagination, but it is easy and absorbing. I'm entertained by it without being taxed. And sometimes that’s nice. It's what Thailand does best.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 3 of 10 - Oh I’m still enjoying it. It’s only episode three and they’re basically boyfriend’s palling around shopping together and hanging out on a bicycle. What’s not to love? Also he got to meet the in-laws. Well… eventual in-laws. Also the girlfriend character. I totally forgot about her. Good times.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - Baby faints. Bad guys caught and beat up a bit. Lots of romantic moments, come checking in with ALL the sides, and it ends.

Summary?

Classic CEO meets ingenue archetypes make for a somewhat banal and simplistic romance. This could’ve come from an 80s Harlequin, except that they’re gay. It's... old fashioned. There was nothing meta about this, there was no subversion or commentary on anything BL, queer, or beyond. It’s just a straight up (okay not straight) romance. I was not wild about these characters for this particular pair, but that’s not the pair's fault, they did a decent job with their parts and I look forward to their next show - here’s hoping it’s a bit more meaty. I preferred the side couple because they were more complex and true to BL archetypes, even if they were also a bit miss-handled. A serviceable show if somewhat lacking in its convictions, but with some beautiful sex scenes, people, and fashion. I was a particular fan of Lin‘s gender bending femme style. It’s groundbreaking to see that aesthetic on one of the leads. There were multiple times they could’ve leaned into well established plot points, paranormal elements, and character tension, and instead just glossed over them.

This should probably get a 7/10, but I’m giving it an 8 because of that one oppa line at the beginning, Tenon's tatas, and the call back to Big Dragon with that iconic musical refrain in the final episode. It was a pretty fun ride, emphasis on pretty and ride. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - Lots of kissing this episode. And lots of different kinds of kissing from the same two actors in various different forms and characters. I really liked it. It’s nice to see that this pair can mix it up a little bit, even if it's just with their lips.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - OK the leg care massage was so boyfriend I can’t even. Who are they trying to fool? I love the way Ing always knows exactly what is going on. Thank goodness for that confession! I’m very much looking forward to the next episode.

(The socratic method, is it?)

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 9 of 12 - Still couldn’t care less about the hets. Yawn. Ah Jane’s ex shows up. (Is that Green? Hi baby!) Meanwhile, Jane gets worried and jealous. I loved Pah in this ep, and almost wish this were a show just about him. Like a grown-up Green Fictions. (Where tf did Poon COME from allasudden? He’s a killer actor. GMMTV better use him wisely.) Also, in that scene with Pat and P’Jo, they’re eating some of my favorite food. I got a little bit of linguistic negotiation with Khun Par Phi. Cuteness. And we end with some actual communication. Yay!!! It’s kind of hilarious to see OffGun in a tentative hug. I don’t think they’ve been that way for a years.

In fact, this whole episode was pretty much about communicating properly between ages and ranks within an office and social structure. I loved that. I’m liking this one more this week. It’s still not my favorite currently airing, but I think that mostly has to do with how much other good stuff is on right now.

SPEAKING OF...

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 12 - Uh huh, a game of one-up-man-ship is it? I think not. That boy wants to jump his cute stepbrother’s bones so bad that big brain of his is starting to melt. I'm here for it. Also, said sunshine cutie is clearly a big old cock tease. Everybody is happy about this. They sure know how to end these episodes on cliffhangers too. I don’t know how I’m gonna wait until next week.

I’m legit mad about how fucking good this is. After Unknown too?! Taiwan is spoiling us this year and THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL ALONG.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 3-4 of 10 - Oh my goodness do I love this show. It makes me laugh, I adore the premise, I'm wild over the characters, and the acting is killer. I’m just really happy about this show, OK? I tend to sing and clap: Oh they so cute.

Baby got his first crush and he has no idea what to do about it. I ADORE how angry he is about it. Like... How dare I even consider falling in love with somebody? How annoying of me. It’s great. I even liked the girl in the confession and how cool and sweet they both were to each other over his rejection. Bang up job. This is fantastic BL of the newer modern style. (As contrasted to On1y)

These top two shows are neck and neck for best of the week, for entirely different reasons. But I love all my sons.

Speaking of...

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 7-8 fin - Oh it’s so adorable with the drama and the little subordinate coming to their rescue, and them meeting each other’s family. "I want to become someone who is essential in your life" = peak romance.

Summation?

I loved this little show. It was a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss. It’s a hyung romance where everybody is extremely earnest and sweet and pretty about everything. Except our seme, who is slightly unhinged and a little obsessed in all the ways one likes best from Japan. Plus the kisses were good! I can’t ask for anything more, utterly charming unexpected gem of a show. What a great time! 9/10

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - The lack of communication between these 2 may actually drive me insane. But I still love them. Such a sad ep. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - Argh but also oooooo. I bet the uncut version was fantastic this week.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I'm starting to like this better. I’m still not convinced, but I did enjoy watching it this week. I’m getting some chemistry off the leads. Admittedly. that’s because they both behave like 16-year-olds. Surprise MosBank cameo - looking handsome as ever, boys. (Honestly, Taiwan really wants that King of the Cameos crown.) And FINALLY our side couple. I’m looking forward to next week primarily because of them. And I don’t even have them yet!

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - OK the lap cuddle was v cute. As was the handholding. But hiking with a metal griddle? Insanity. Might be the craziest thing in a BL this year. And The Sign aired this year. Meanwhile, not a dead fish kiss! Yay! 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

9/1 Live in Love (Thai Sun Gaga) 5 eps - Short series featuring and online romance turning IRL.

9/3 Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Here it is!

9/6 Kidnap (Thai Friday GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - Ohm Pawat is back for Frigays it's gonna be a blast.

9/7 The Hidden Moon (Thai Sat ????) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast.

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

Adventures in miss-captions

(been a while since we had one of these)

SNICKER "nail you" and a "nail you down" = completely different things. But this being Japan they might have met either or both. (Cosmetic)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Why yes, you do have the prettiest lips in the biz. No need to tease us like that. (Battle)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Ok, I am awake, have eaten breakfast, drunk my coffee, and now am sitting down to catch up on GMMTV 2025! From the excited chat I've seen in various places, I'm thinking this is gonna be good, but we'll see!

I'm just randomly clicking on the trailers, so no real order here.

Ticket to Heaven - Ooof, wow. What a start. Ok, I am super excited for GeminiFourth to be working on something more dramatic and adult, because I think they're going to do an incredible job. P'Aof did amazing work with them in Moonlight Chicken, so I think he's a great director to take them through such big lead roles. And this looks like a really powerful story. At the same time, I am someone who has experienced direct harm to my family from the Catholic church (abuse leading to someone taking their life), so even the trailer was very emotional and triggering for me. I will likely try to watch, but will have to be careful for my mental health.

Girls Rule - a lesbian Only Friends! Fabulous, I'm in. OF wasn't my favorite, but it was hella entertaining, and I am here for letting lesbians be messy too.

Do we need to start a counter for "uggggh branded pairs are going to ruin this" posts? Cuz I know they're coming. 😂

Only Friends: Dream On - Lolol, love that this is the one I come across next.

Holy shit! This cast!!! I am just reeling. Also, can we talk about Gawin & Joss being paired again? I love that Gawin has always been more random with his pairings, but at the same time this has to mean that they are totally fire together in My Golden Blood, right? If they're already getting paired for a new project?

Oh, the whiners are going to be so mad. But I love it. P'Aof being a senior director of content production is having a clear impact.

Me and Thee - More PondPhuwin, yay! And more PerthSanta, excellent! And they're not students!

Omg, a pseudo-dark Pond who is actually a huge dork. The plot of this isn't super amazing for me, it's a premise that's been done a lot, but as always, that PondPhuwin chemistry is always so damn good.

Whale Store - more GL, yay! MilkLove are having a busy 2025. The plot isn't super compelling for me, but I like that they are offering such different GLs next year, so we can have more options for what different people resonate with.

Cat for Cash - My babies. Something very different from Heart Killers, for sure. Lol, and of course they made Khaotung cry in the trailer. And Satang getting to do something a little different for him!

Um. Look I love FirstKhaotung. Of course I'm gonna watch it. Do I love the talking cats? Not really. Just not quite my jam. Hoping that's a minimally used part of the series. But the acting should be stellar.

MU-TE-LUV - Ok, I have to admit I was feeling incredibly confused until I realized it was an anthology. I can be slow sometimes. I do love a ton of the people appearing in this, so it could be fun.

Memoir of Rati - More GreatInn! I did expect this. Love that we're going historical. Ahhhhh, AouBoom!!!!

Oh, this one is going to hurt, and I am going to have to watch it.

That Summer - A lead for WinnySatang! Oh, yay, I'm happy for them. Ah, the good ole amnesia trope. But it's actually working for me here. And we get a proper love story with Mond! On paper this is one that shouldn't necessarily excite me, but the trailer sold me, I'm here for it.

A Dog and a Plane - TayNew era continues! I am already loving this. Lolol, New's boyfriend cheating with Poon, oh this is fabulous. Oh, are we getting MarcPoon enemies to lovers?!

100% immediately sold, give it to me now.

Boys in Love - Of course, gotta get at least one school series. Pretty standard fare, but a very cute and charismatic cast. And PoddPapang sides for us older fans! Though I am guessing it will be like the teacher romance in 23.5, so mostly crumbs sadly.

Love You Teacher - PerthSanta! Woot woot! And they're in adult jobs, yay. Oh, interesting that we're getting an established couple, that's so rare! Hmm, our teachers are a little bit kinky and I approve. Wait, we're getting two amnesia plots next year? I mean, I think Satang's character is faking it a bit? But still, this is funny to me.

Hmm, you know what? The plot is a little odd, but I feel like there could be a really sweet core here of what it really means to love someone and take care of them when they're having hard times. And honestly if anyone was going to be a believable child in an adult's body, Santa was a brilliant pick.

Dare You to Death - Ok, I literally just gasped. Am I getting a JoongDunk mystery/thriller!?!?! Lol, "so we can work better together, come live with me", very smooth Captain, very smooth. Wait... are we getting cheeky Joong back? I haven't seen him since 2 Moons 2!

I. am. so. fucking. in. Gimme gimme gimme.

Burnout Syndrome - Ooh, OffGun in a more mature series again! And P'Nuchy!!! I had her on my bingo card for last year, I've wanted her to come back to direct for so looooong! Oh, this makes me so happy. And Dew coming in to dip his toe into the BL waters. I am very intrigued by this one.

Wu - Hmmm, fortune teller and string of fate...interesting. I'm not familiar with SkyNani, but they seem cool. This might be a bromance? Which is fine with me. Just not a lot to go on quite yet.

My Magic Prophecy - JimmySea! Woot! Ok, this looks interesting. Having to go on the run together is always a good formula for romance. And I just really like these two.

Head 2 Head - Another SeaKeen series, good for them! I have to admit I didn't finish Only Boo, I was really enjoying them as leads but I just kinda lost interest in the story. Definitely a different dynamic here! And they're getting to be a bit more mature already. I'm mildly intrigued for this one.

Melody of Secrets - another thriller!!!! And it's a trippy one! ForceBook being adults!!! Oh my heart, I am so happy!

My Romance Scammer - there's Ohm! I knew GMMTV didn't bring him in just to bench him. Paired with another Fluke too, lol. The trailer was a bit all over the place, but I think I'll be into this one. And more JuniorMark is never a bad thing.

I Love "a Lot of" You - I do love Nanon, but it's het, and historically multiple personalities haven't been super well handled in media. So just meh.

The Love of Siam - just a tease for this, so not sure what the end product will look like. But I do love musicals, and would love to see a Thai one.

Holy shit, there was so much stuff here! It's definitely ambitious of GMMTV to try and do all this for 2025, but I'm not stressed about it, I'm just happy to get what I get. And it's so incredibly queer overall! Which makes sense based on what we can see of the viewing metrics.

I do hope the people who were dismissing P'Aof in their fears around bromance taking dominance are able to acknowledge that he's doing some really good and important work here, however you feel about the individual story choices.

I love that this feels like it might be the year GMMTV grows up a bit. Their actors are getting older, and the audience who first came in 4 or 5 years ago are older now too.

No proper old man yaoi yet, but it's a step in the right direction!

And I love that we are doing so much more than plain romance. Give me all the BL thrillers!

Didn't get a ton on my bingo wish list, but I am still grateful and happy to be living in the era of this kind of content.

[stormyoceans]

i woke up in a depressed mood bc no one needed the trainee and i want to say where are you people? you are accused of a lack of taste.😔

the fandom HAS been fairly quiet about the trainee, hasn’t it????

i actually had the same thought yesterday when i had to hunt down a single gifset of the show in the tag, but i wasn’t sure if i simply wasn’t following the right people ;;;;;; it just feels weird to see my dash being so quiet about it, especially considering it’s an offgun show and it features a lot of artists people love (view and poon at the very least are current fan favorites)

i personally enjoyed these first two eps A LOT tbh, i think they did a great job setting up all the different characters and the dynamics between them, and not only it’s very interesting to see how a production company works, but the more administrative part of it (if we can call it like that) feels very realistic to me in a way that a lot of other office BLs don’t. like i’ve been ryan and i’ve been jane and i think both sides are very relatable because the director actually took the time to depict the different struggles in their current positions. also as someone who LOVES slow burn im really liking the pacing rn, it feels like they aren’t rushing into jane and ryan’s relationship but are letting their progress flow with the story, which i honestly appreciate a lot. last but not least the comedy is well incorporated into the show without being too much and the colors are POPPING

but you know, i think the first 2/3 episodes of a show are often like..the assessment stage, where people don’t engage as much with it because they’re trying to figure out if they actually like what they’re seeing, so hopefully now that the story has been put into gears the fandom will start being more active too!!!!

[kmp78]

Can you actually believe moronic echies think Lordy is out there liking and responding to their posts whilst he's in Mykonos stalking poon 😂 they really are as thick as pudding. Lordy could not give a flying fuck about their posts, Hivers doing a great job 🤣

I CAN actually believe that. 🙃

[tiffanylamps]

for the ask game: you remind me of yok from kinnporsche!! she didn’t show up nearly enough, in my opinion, and was one of my favorite characters from the show. she’s stylish, cool, has a kind demeanor, is terrific at her job, and takes great care of the people she loves. you remind me of her in the way you have a warmth towards others and will always stand up for what you believe ❤️

you also remind me of poon from what zabb man! there’s not as many comparisons here, but he’s very determined and passionate—not to mention he knows what he likes/wants and takes steps to achieve his goals to having those things in life. he also works to protect his heart, which is good on his part, and i thought you might relate to how he’s firm in setting boundaries when it comes to other people affecting his emotions

hope these sounded accurate!

hey anon, sorry I didn't reply to this at the time. My attention span is rather short these days. But before I write a 500-word apology, I'll cut to the point and say thank you!!! This is so sweet, and it's brought me a lot of joy to see in my ask box. You're a kind and generous person, and I feel really honoured (and completely baffled) that you think this highly of me. I don't really know what I'm doing but damn, it's leaving a great impression lol. I hope you're well! Sorry for not answering this properly, but please know that I appreciate you 💛💛

^ what a fucking babe!!!! She was my favourite character in the show. I adore her! She's a smart cookie, who is also a great friend, a brilliant boss, and just an all-around diamond! I would defo watch a spin-off about her!

I've never heard of What a Zabb Man! before, but I appreciate the compliment 😊

[cyborg-franky]

I looooved the Buggy and Shanks headcannons you did! do you have any NSFW ones? <3

-Sits in a coffee shop on a writers/artist date with wife- this is the perfect time to write about hot clown dick.

NSFW UNDER CUT

+ Shanks when not dedicated to anymore strikes me as someone who won't say no to a free 'encounter' so has learned alot of moves in his time.

+ Stamina through the through, is a soft top, he wouldn't be rough unless his partner wanted it.

+ Big on post sex cuddles and falling asleep together, totally a polite man who'd make you breakfast after and send you on your way.

+ He's not self-conscious when it comes to being naked and thinks you shouldn't be either. If you are he will simply lavish you with kisses and comforting words.

+ Doesn't have a preference in sex of his partner, he's had just as many offers from peens and poons.

+ His favorite position is against the wall, table, floor, railings, deck, literally everything other then a bed, he gets off on pinning you against things. But he also isn’t against being in the bed. + He doesn’t have kinks per say but he will try anything once. + Likes to be called ‘captain’ in bed is probably his real go to though. + Has very little embarrassment levels, the amount of times one of his crew has stumbled in on Shanks and his partner doing it where they shouldn’t be, everyone just knocks to go into any room to be safe. + Likes when his partner marks him, he feels pride in how he was so good that they felt they could just let go. + Prefers giving then getting oral.

+ A big o’ Switch. Depending on who you are demands on Buggy being top or bottom. He’s versatile.

+ Hasn’t had much experience, and it’s all been a little awkward at times. He loves his body but he’s always worried that during the heat of the moment his nose will go HONK and kill his boner. + Favourite position is doggy style, he likes to be in deep and no chance of his nose going off. + Has pretty good stamina all things considering. He’ll try make you cum at least once before he needs a break, or a nap. + Needs dutch courage for one-night stands but if in a real relationship he’d very handsy and needy. You’ll be across the room and a hand will just appear and slap your ass cheek.

+ Kinks include cockwarming, he can do it from an entirely different room also. You could be doing your duties with him inside you while he’s doing captain work. + He needs words of affirmation or for you to be as loud as you can be so he knows he’s doing a good job and it boasts his confidence. + He will hit the pillow harder and fast when he’s spent and he knows you’ve had yours. In the morning, the pillow talk is almost nonstop though. He’ll go on about how great he was but blush like a teenager when you agree and suggest a round two. + When he’s the bottom to someone he likes hair pulling.

[dumpsterthot]

Big fan of your drawings, it inspired me to try my hand at drawing dicks. So, I drew a Cedric for you, colored it with Paints Chainer.

Ahhh. I love this. ;> Great drawing of Cedric. Thank you so much for showing it to me.

[makapatag]

panginoon, the ganglords of biringan

Biringan is the City of Cities, but it was once a holy city. It was once a city of pilgrimage, a city of the greatest knoweable magics and sorceries. It was the home of the Infinite Spirits, of the bathala, of the ever-present engkanto.

Of course, that all changed when the Trinity came. They came and changed what Biringan was. They came and made Biringan their unholy capital. Now, despite being under a Kingdom “ruled” by its own people, Biringan has fallen into wicked crime and has become a dreaded cesspool of villainy.

The City of Biringan is too big to be confined to words and descriptions, and so I will only go and describe some of its people. Perhaps the most infamous among them are the Panginoon. 

The term Panginoon used to be used for the leaders of a group of datu in a certain region before the invasion of Trinitarian powers. After the coming of the Trinitarian powers, the term had been co-opted to be used to describe the Trinity themselves. When they left, the term was taken back again by the natives, but this time by the criminals, who used the term to refer to their boss. Poon is the shortened term.

The Panginoon, funnily enough, act the most similar to the pre-colonial datu in the Archipelago. Most of them have a primary trade and their own defining feature. They have built up a community for themselves within the horrid archipelago-within-an-archipelago of Biringan, which they call their haop, which at this point is synonymous with “gang”. Their “territory” is known as their “banwa”.  

When I went and met a Panginoon, a young gwapo named Poon Balo Balyante, I found that he was surprisingly human. He was kind, unassuming, and wanted his people to treat me with respect as they would any random visitor in his territory, which he called his banwa. This was also an ancient term. One that he said was “removed from us by the Invaders” and replaced with “a single nation”. That nation being the Perlesensya Kingdom. The Perlesensya Kingdom being, as he said, “nothing but a new name for the colony”.

And in truth: the ganglords of Biringan have treated their people in a much better light than the Guwardya Sibil or the Pamahalaan. Now, of course, I have never said that the Pamahalaan has been doing a good job of governing the nation, that is for sure, but it has really come to light here that there is another way. And with that light came hope, even for the seven souls within me that slide smoothly into an ever-sinking despair.

As I immersed into their community--which is almost always found in the dregs, in the stacks, in the squatter areas and lungsods of Biringan--the more I found that they live peacefully among themselves. Of course, at first, I was suprised, but that is because of my inherent privilege and prejudice against the “ganglords of Biringan”. As I walked through their sluice streets flanked by crumbling kubo-towers--that is, nipa huts stacked on top of each other to create a sort of vertical apartment complex--the more I saw that they had a thriving inner economy. The people that they had within knew each other: the panday ng baril--gunsmith--knew the panadero, the one selling bread from the bakery. The tindera who sold goods from outside Biringan knew intimately who the son of the cook of the nearby karinderya was. It was an interconnected community, all of whom looked up to Poon Balo Balyante for leadership.

“It is the greatest fault and the greatest boon,” said Balo. “Boon because they are united and they work together. Fault because they still think me higher than them, when in truth we are all equal.”

What a strangely forward-thinking man.

Now I am not saying that all Panginoon think like this. This is evidenced by the sudden attack from a rival haop governed by Poon Ashara Gigulod, who was said to have been the greatest leader in her lungsod. They attacked and tried to raze down the banwa of Poon Balo, but through their coordinated efforts, actions, and the greatness of the Poon’s sandig, or supporters, they were able to fight back. Not wanting to be dead weight, I helped in fending off the attackers. Panginoon like Ashara were termed “pamalpagan”, Panginoon where were autocaratic and oppressive, and enjoyed too much the power that they had. They functioned like a microcosm of the troubles of the current Kingdom, living their lives as autocrats and dictators, and treating their subjects as vassals or peasants.

Poon Balo meanwhile--and apparently a host of other Panginoon--treated their people like followers instead.

Ah yes, the sandig. It is common knowledge to know that Panginoon have their own merry band of supporters, known as their sandig. They are either usually close blood relatives of the Poon, or the friends of the Poon that they themselves have handpicked. 

The sandig is made up of four different roles:

- The Atubang was the one who worked as the Poon’s chief minister or counselor. - The Paragahin acted as his steward or majordomo or secretary of the Poon. - The Bilanggo acted as the Poon’s chief sheriff, who he walked around with as his bodyguard. The bilanggo’s house became the Panginoon’s personal jail for those that have committed atrocities against haop, being called the bilanggoan. - The Paratawag acted as the Panginoon’s chief messenger, relaying the messages and decrees of the Panginoon across all of the banwa.

That was most of what I had learned before I had to leave due to rising tensions. The haop are scattered all across Biringan, and not all of them are made of tao people. However, it is important to note that one should remove presuppositions and assumptions about this people: they may very well be the ones to be able to save Perlesensya from its dictatorial, neocolonial government.

Here are a few more Panginoon that I have since visited and listed down. You will have to assemble them on your own, however: I have applied a Gulo kulam to make sure that if this book were ever to fall into Kingdom hands, they will not be able to make it out in any capacity. 

Panginoon and Haop Generator

When generating a Panginoon and Haop, keep in mind what their role in the world is, or where they can be found. Additionally, if you’re using the Gods and Chains, make sure to write them down as Gods/Chains/Hatreds if they are those.

To figure out their name, combine [Made-up name] with [Filipino/Spanish sounding surname].

Panginoon are known to be stylish, especially in Biringan. Choose one or two to figure out their looks: They wear a red pudong, a kind of war turban; they wear flamboyant clothing; they wear clothing fit for an emperor or a king; they solely wear the trappings of the Trinity Continents; they are never seen without their iconic full-body armor; they are never seen, only their palanquin and their silhouette; they ride upon a the back of a giant crocodile; they have chosen a single color as the only color on every article of clothing; make one or two of your own:

Panginoon come into their power for a reason. To find out what that reason is, roll 1d6 and half the result, rounded down.

1. Merit. The Panginoon came into power because they have shown their leadership skills and talents in front of a crowd of oppressed people, or have shown their skills before the previous Panginoon, causing the people of the haop to jockey for them to become the next Panginoon. 2. Blood. Some haop keep the primitive monarchy system of yesteryear, and thus believe that only those with the bloodline of the Panginoon (which they call Dugong-Bughaw, blueblood) should be allowed to rule over them. 3. Usurpation. The previous Panginoon was a horrible leader, or maybe too weak to stop the coming of the next one. The current Panginoon became the Poon of the haop because they were more powerful than the one that came before, and thus usurped their throne from them.

Panginoon have dispositions that influence how they govern their haop and how their haop sees them. Roll 1d6.

1. Kind and Benevolent. The haop are a good bunch, a community of people that only want to get by. 2. Rebellious and Revolutionary. The haop and the Panginoon are actively trying to change Biringan for the better. 3. Autocratic. The haop live in fear of their Panginoon, and the Panginoon gets money and support from the Guwardya Sibil themselves. 4. Uncaring and Aloof. The haop are more or less free due to their Panginoon not caring too much about them. However this has led into fragmentation and recurring uprisings within the haop. 5. Familial. The haop treats each other similarly to a family, and thus have become intensely xenophobic and have implemented a rigid social hierarchy and revenge system. 6. Gluttonous. The Panginoon only cares about money and power. Not inherently autocratic, but close enough, especially if they make deals with the Pamahalaan and the Guwardya Sibil to get even more money and power to stomp on their haop.

Finally, each Panginoon is filled with a burning desire. Make one of your own or roll 1d6.

1. Money. The Panginoon seeks out money, perhaps to support their family or to enrich themself, or some other secret motive. 2. Power. The Panginoon seeks out power, control over others. Perhaps to create more opportunities or to stamp them out and to be the only one ruling over them all, or some other secret motive. 3. Change. The Panginoon seeks change in the Pamahalaan, or in society at large, and thus has scorunged up his own microcosm of society to enact this change. 4. Overthrow. The Panginoon seeks not only change, but the ousting of the one upon the throne of the Pamahalaan. 5. Technology. The Panginoon has a penchant for strange doodads and has created or inherited their haop for the sole intention of getting more things to tinker with. 6. Fulfill Responsibility. They inherited this haop, or chose to be its leader, because they want to fulfill the responsibility of being a leader and helping those that would follow him.

The aeshetics of a Panginoon’s haop is influenced by the Panginoon themself. Distinct aesthetics are important: it’s to signal when they have arrived. Figure out their haop aesthetics and looks, choose one or two: they wear red bandanas, they always have identical pairs of black pants, they have piercings on their tragus, they have their hair dyed to peroxide blonde, they sport glowing tattoos on their collarbones, they wear a certain color of jacket as their uniform, make one or two of your own: 

Graffiti’d to the sides of large buildings, fallen titan skeletons, or armors of killed gods, as well as maybe stitched onto their flags, sails, or hoodies. Figure out their haop insignia, choose one: The head of a binturong, a circular serpent, a crocodile, a twisting river, a mountain that pierces the heavens, make one one:

Next, find out what their trade is, if anything. To find out their trade, roll 1d6.

1. Manual Labor. They trade in people and labor brought about with those people. There are many folk in Biringan searching for jobs, and with the oppressive system in place by the Trinity and the Kingdom, manual labor does not sound so bad. State what labor they trade: 2. Drugs. They trade in drugs, psychedelics, and other illegal contraband. This is arguably the most dangerous one, since the Kingdom has had a recent crackdown on drug trade. State what kind of drug they trade: 3. Food and Crop. They trade in foodstuffs and crops and other things framed from the Probinsyas, since the Kingdom insists on importing materials from the Continents and not buying from their own Archipelago. State what kind of Food they trade: 4. Iron and other Minerals. More minerals from outside Biringan, or perhaps from outside the Archipelago, which they also export or give to local forgeries. Iron is a much coveted mineral in the archipelago, especially by Panday. State what kind of Mineral they trade: 5. Diwata. Physics does not work the same in Sansinukob as in other universes. In fact, there is no physics. The diwata, the elemental god spirits that live within all things, are the things that grant things their inherent quality. People fall down to the earth because there are earth diwata within the earth. Thus, the Industrialization of Biringan has centered around the slavery of the diwata. Electricity supplied through lightning diwata, light through fire diwata, and more. State what kind of diwata they trade: 6. Piracy. Their main trade is coming in and stealing from the other trades. They get a lot of money from this, but they are frequently the targets of revenge raids. Don’t state what they pirate, they pirate everything.

Gangs especially are vulnerable to problems. To find out what their current problem is, roll 1d6.

1. A Rival Haop. A rival haop is seeking to overthrow them. 2. A Panginoon Grudge. A panginoon, whether it be of the haop or an enemy haop, has a grudge that they wish to solve right now. 3. The Guwardya Sibil. The Guwardya Sibil, sent of course by the Pamahalaan, is coming to stop their operations, or are actively trying to stop their operations. 4. Their Trade Source is dwindling. The Pamahalaan is actively endangering their source of trade and income. 5. The Panginoon is dead. The Panginoon has been killed, but the haop does not know yet. It will be only a matter of time before the news gets out. 6. The Panginoon is Not Fit. The Panginoon is deemed incompetent, or useless, or too evil for the haop, and they wish to replace them.

These are all you need for the basic trappings of a haop. Figure out where they can be found on your city, and then let the rest of play figure out what happens to them as it goes along. It will be important to make them feel, to the players, like they’ve been there for a long time, so ramp up the rumors about the haop and what they’re most well known for. If you wish to find out what they’re well known for, you can roll another 1d6.

1. Their Trade. They are most well known for their trade and the good or bad it brings. 2. Their Panginoon. Their Panginoon is infamous, and rumors of them killing or cavorting with other Panginoon spread around. 3. Their being puppets. This haop is famously rumoured to be the puppets of the Pamahalaan used to keep the people in line. Whether this is true or not is up to the table and the game. 4. Their Aesthetics. They are most well known for their notable aesthetic sense which can be found everywhere near their bawna’s vicinity. 5. Their Good Will. This haop is known for helping the people out, especially int heir harshest times of need or when the Pamahalaan is being their usual useless self. 6. Their Ferocity. This haop is known for their horrible and brutal practices that scare those in the vicinity of their haop.

This should be enough to round up your own haop and Panginoon in Biringan. Of course, this is not the be-all and end-all. Every table will be different, it’s up to you how you want to use these tools in your own Lie.

[kodibitesback]

kodi !

⧼   banita sandhu, cis female, she/her  /   “heads will roll” by yeah yeah yeahs +  the aroma of garlic spilling out from the curry joint that you walk past on the way home from the ministry that doesn’t smell like your dads’ kitchen but still sets your mouth watering with a hunger insatiable that you must walk away from empty, empty, empty; the heartbeat tattoo of bare feet as you move through your mudras in the dark, a goddess of shadow, a creature of the night; the mirror that you stupidly brought across the atlantic and have subsequently left to gather dust among the unpacked boxes in your ground-floor apartment because you know when you look, you won’t know any better whether you like who you are, forever.   ⧽   ━━   hey, isn’t that POONKODI “KODI” ADALARASU? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the TWENTY-SEVEN year old muggleborn WITCH & VAMPIRE is an ILVERMORNY alumnus who has gone on to be an AUROR. i’ve heard she can be quite SCINTILLATING & UNFLINCHING, but i don’t know… she came off very RASH & EMBITTERED in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it? 

pinterest // playlist 

QUICK STATS

name: poonkodi rainbow hearts adalarasu [POON-koh-dee UH-the-luh-rah-suh]; goes by “kodi” almost exclusively [sees the use of her full name as more personal] age: 27 [technically physically 25 as she was bitten two years ago] gender: cis woman, she/her sexuality: lesbian/queer blood status: muggleborn, in british terminology. raised by two loving and bohemian indian-american no-maj fathers. her parents thought she got a scholarship to a boarding school and then became a cop. now they think she’s dead. creature status: vampire, brand new. bitten while on the job. nearly died. trauma central. she’s still working on finding a good british brand of glamour charms, which she uses on and off to hide or show her status.  alma mater: ilvermorny, wampus house.  patronus: was a kingfisher. is now a bat, to her consternation. wand: 11 inches, whippy, pine wood with a wampus hair core and pearl inlay. manufactured by a descendant of johannes jonkers profession: auror with the british ministry’s department of law enforcement, auror office. was senior for her age in her division back in washington, dc, was once a wunderkind. hired in london as part of the shacklebolt administration’s diversification and beings’ rights initiatives. residence: a very dark, windowless ground-floor apartment in london pets: none. animals don’t like her anymore.  likes: loud music, dancing (club or indian classical), stupid videos, working late, thick blankets, sandals, urban exploration, midnight conversations, quodpot, adventure, decisive action, aggressive flirting, inadvisable makeouts, dueling, bar brawls, making bad vampire jokes about herself dislikes: shy people, boredom, coffee (the smell alone), wet socks, sad movies, arts and crafts, meditating (but she’s trying to do it anyway), being psychoanalyzed, the prospect of eternity, people she doesn’t like making bad vampire jokes about her 

BIOGRAPHY

[Triggering subjects in backstory include references to suicide, blood, violence, death.]

Kodi was a much-loved, much-wanted child. She had two dads, both Indian-American, one a Tamil classical dancer from a whole line of dancers and one a Punjabi art therapist. Her biological mother is her fathers’ best friend, a classical dancer of Punjabi descent. She played the role of a quirky aunt in Kodi’s life; Kodi called her by first name. Largely, she was raised by a village of multicultural artsy queer people who encouraged unconventionality in her. Precocious and bright, Kodi had an unwavering sense of justice and purpose from an early age that often set her at odds with her more free-wheeling little community. She was a charming child but sometimes unnervingly serious for her age. While she was a skillful Bharatanatyam dancer, she never wanted to be an artist. She always wanted to be a hero. 

When she learned about her magic and what that could mean for her future, she had to make a decision. The strict division between No-Maj and wix in the United States meant that she was encouraged not to tell her parents that she was a witch. She thought that they would love to know about the existence of magic, but she wanted something to be her own for once. She wanted something to be her secret. She didn't think they could keep it secret at all. They’d probably do performance art about the role of magic in society or something. In the end, she decided to lie, not knowing that as the years went on, the lies would only grow. So her parents believed she had been accepted to a prestigious boarding school for gifted children, and in fact, she had: Ilvermorny in Massachusetts. She was a smash hit at Ilvermorny with dozens of friends, good at anything she really poured her heart into, which was mostly anything that had to do with fighting Dark wix. She decided from the day that she met her favorite professor that she would be an Auror like she once was, and she worked towards this with great purpose, networking as best as she could as a No-Maj-born. 

Her efforts paid off: right out of school, she was offered a position in Washington, DC with the Auror Division there. She maintained to her dads that she was a cop, which disappointed them deeply, but she decided she had grown past what her fathers thought. She knew what the world was now, and she was going to make it a better place. For a good solid stretch from seventeen to twenty-five, she was kicking ass and taking names. She had a sharp eye and great fighting instincts, and her rise through the Division was suitably meteoric. Her personal life was a bit of a disaster, however, with a string of girlfriends that she messily dumped when they got in the way of her career. She grew more and more estranged from her parents.

As she proved herself, her case-load grew more intense and more dangerous. She became especially known for taking on lengthy assignments that required travel. On one mission that took her into the Blue Ridge Mountains to investigate an illegal potions ring, she was attacked by a vampire. She thought that she would bleed to death, but instead, horribly, she lived, or at least became undead. Kodi, who had been born without knowing she was a witch but had fallen in love with the wonder of magic, had crossed over into the Dark. When she first came to consciousness, she was in the bowels of the Division’s Virginia building, sometime past midnight, and they were asking her what they should do, what they should tell her parents.

She swallowed with a click, intensely aware of why her throat was dry and why her teeth ached. She said, “Tell them I’m dead.”

She recuperated for a long time in a special ward in the largest wixen hospital in the country. She had a lot from which to recover and a lot to which she had to become accustomed. For weeks, her magic sputtered and failed. Even when it returned to her, the magic felt different--but at least it had returned. She was still magic. Eventually, Kodi grew restless. She took the remainder of the year off to travel the world and find herself, or more accurately, her new people. Along with sundry other beings, she met vampires who were loving their countless years and vampires who seemed to be looking to get staked as fast as possible. Kodi had a bad feeling she knew where she fit in that spectrum, and yet she had come too far now to give it all up.

Thus after her prolonged absence, she returned to the DC office, changed within and without. Everywhere she looked, she felt hunted. She could still feel the teeth in the back of her neck. Her old colleagues couldn’t figure out whether to show her sympathy or give her space, but she could feel how their eyes followed her around the room. She could sense the animal fear in them because even when she drank from covered pouches, a little blood would always stain her mouth. Kodi had been raised to be proud of who she was. She was spoiled with love and opportunity. At times, people accused her of overconfidence (though she would call herself cocky but competent). Now, though, Kodi hated herself.

She needed a way out. Always with an ear to the ground, she heard rumblings from across the ocean about a push for beings’ rights from the Ministry under Shacklebolt. Kodi sensed opportunity. She made a visit to the British Ministry, pressed some flesh, passed around her resume, and without too much effort--her superiors in DC had been eager, lately, to see the back of her--she secured herself a position within the Auror Office.

She accepted the job offer before the Warbeck benefit disaster and...made the decision not to back out of it. She went ahead and rented that dark little near-underground flat she’d picked out and called up those people she’d met on her first go-around. It was time to start her new life. 

Kodi endeavors not to have regrets about anything, as she figures she should get into the habit of that if the alternative is living far too many decades, even centuries of regrets. But she can admit that even if werewolves aren’t exactly her natural allies, the environment in Britain for all magical beings is tenser than ever. She feels out of place for so many reasons. She’s American, she’s “Muggleborn,” she’s not even human anymore. Still, she’s great at making conversation, making friends, and making trouble. Kodi works into the night and parties for what’s left of it, dancing til she should be sweating, trying not to flash her fangs when she laughs. Yet her past is a heavy thing; she can’t cast off the burden of it. Every time she tries to move forward, her future feels more fraught, another roadblock rising up in front of her. 

It’s a bad time to be here. She’s trying to have a good time anyway.

FUN FACTS

yes her middle name is actually ‘rainbow hearts’ bc she is a product of her dads’ beautiful gay love. she has a real love/hate relationship to it because admittedly she does love being second-generation gay. if she tells someone her middle name or lets them call her by her full first name, you know it’s real.

she was vegan before she was turned. she’s had some confusing ethical debates about blood-drinking and maintains that she is still vegan (she avoids animal products and only drinks from consenting humans or blood donations).

the legality of her using a wand in britain due to the wand ban (clause three of the code of wand use) is tricky and she’s hoping that continues to be hand-waved. her prepared argument is that she is a human with a condition, same as lycanthropes.

WANTED CONNECTIONS 

professional - she’s a workaholic! her ministry coworkers are half her social circle! maybe someone a lil nervous about her sipping blood out of a juicebox in the breakroom? personal - friends & flings. neighbors. people she’s punched. new gf. w/e! past - she’s traveled and met all kinds of people, wix and creatures alike. reunion time? ORDER ! - she could be a real asset to the order, as she is an experienced auror and also a vampire. i’m looking for someone to recruit her, since she is currently a civilian!

PLAYED CONNECTIONS

alicia spinnet - hooked up after a queer wix speed-dating thing and before the big ministry gala 

dudley dursley - bonding over non-magical backgrounds and kodi making fun of dudley mercilessly. ministry coworkers

heather pettigrew - always butting heads as private investigator and auror. 

[crimsonblackrose]

I’m officially reunited with about 90% of my things. It’s weird. Very very weird but I feel like there’s some stable ground beneath my feet. It just feels nice to not be living out of a suitcase that’s mostly business professional clothing and be reunited with comfy college t-shirts. I’ve gone through all of my stuff, mostly organized it, and set up a bookcase. As a lifelong bookworm and someone who went to college for writing, I have a lot of books. And I haven’t read all of those books. So I decided books I haven’t read or don’t remember reading will go on the bookcase. The rest will stay in their boxes.

My plan when I was expecting to come home pre-pandemic was to frequent the library but try and focus on the books I haven’t read yet that I own. I figured if there were things I desperately wanted to read that I couldn’t get at the library I’d get it for my e-reader or maybe at the store after getting a job. But then the pandemic happened and our library has only recently opened so e-reader and my TBR bookcase should get me through for a while. (Plus I can always grab something off of my aunt or uncle’s bookshelves if I need to branch out. They’ve already given me recommendations.)

The Divine Comedy of Dante Alighieri by Dante Alighieri. This book is too big to fit on the shelves so it’s chilling at the top with my Korean Count of Monte Cristo musical book. This is one of my Dad’s books that he gave me when he moved. I’m sure I missed more that are in a box in the basement. I organized but I have lot of books so I know I missed things.f

So buckle up here’s all the books on my bookcase in no particular order. Shelf #!.

The Earthsea Trilogy by Ursula K. Le Guin Ursula K. Le Guin is a staple author for fantasy and I thought for sure I’d read this but I wasn’t 100% sure so I grabbed it anyway.

Monsterkind by Taylor C. I kickstarted this a long time ago and it’s one of the things in my boxes that I didn’t realize I had because I’m pretty sure it arrived while I was in Korea. I’ve sadly missed the cut off for book two but am pretty excited to jump into this.

This Dark Endeavor by Kenneth Oppel. I don’t know when or where I got it but looking at the tag line I can see why I found it intriguing “The Apprenticeship of Victor Frankenstein” sounds fun.

And Another thing… Douglas Adams Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Part six of Three by Eoin Colfer. Fun fact when I was in elementary through high school I read everything Eoin Colfer I could get my hands on and I loved The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy and everything I’ve read by Douglas Adams so this was a no brainer. Though I haven’t read it because I guess I don’t know what it is.Aa sequel? A prequel? Something in between? No idea, it’ll be a fun adventure.

What You Don’t Know About Men by Michael Burke. This is one of those books where I’m just staring at it wondering where it came from and why I have it.  It is signed and after deep diving my own Instagram it’s a book from college. But whether I met the author at an event, something I was volunteering for or at school is beyond me.

Gramarye City by Paul Revere Lester. This is another signed book, but I’m pretty sure it’s self published since there was nothing about it on Goodreads. Could be wrong. But this one I don’t know if it’s from high school writer’s club or what since it, like the last one references my own writing and cheers me on in the note with the signing.

Fiery Dark Secret by Emma Bown Meyer this one is also signed but doesn’t reference my own writing or any sort of cheering me on so who knows. I’m going to assume this is from a library event where the authors came and signed their books from when I was in high school.

Hush Girls by Emily Hansen. Another signed book. You could guess that I don’t read books I get signed but in this case this came out this year and it’s one of the few books I’ve recently purchased. Emily Hansen was one of my cohorts and I try my best to support my cohorts.

Lost in the City by Edward P. Jones, did I get this book because it was recommended reading in college or because it looks cool or was it gifted to me? No clue.

Zombies vs Unicorns. This is a collection of short stories about Zombies versus Unicorns. So each author picked a team and wrote a story to try and grab the reader to their side and some of my favorite authors are in this collection and it’s just super cool looking so I’m greatly looking forward to reading it.

Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris, oh this book hasn’t been read out of pure spite. My department in college had this thing where we had to go and attend “literary” events and then write about them as part of our grade. The problem being there were plenty of literary events for people over the age of 21. So many readings and events that our teachers recommended did not work for those of us under the age of 21 who weren’t allowed in the bars. For one of these my friend said that a famous author had an event at Borders (RIP) on the other end of the city from where we lived. So a small group of us went all the way out to that Borders realized we weren’t early enough to sit in on the discussion which was then sold out and our best and final bet was to get a number for the book signing. So we did that and got dinner nearby. My friends had books but I had nothing to get signed. This book was one of the few ones out and on sale so I bought it and then spent the many hours left waiting in that line reading manga.

Here’s the thing. Kudos to David Sedaris’s work ethic. He’s one of those authors who will stay until everyone in line goes through as long as the place is willing to stay open. Which is super cool. But for me, a college kid who was utterly exhausted and had never even heard of the author before, showed up at 3am after waiting in line for ages to learn Mr. Sedaris either requests a joke or gives you a joke when he meets you. I really really just wanted to get the book signed so I could go back to my dorm and sleep and then write up my journal entry for class. I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. And my humor isn’t really okay with cancer jokes at any time let alone 3am. So I haven’t read this book. It’s been on my shelves for ages, moved from dorm room to dorm room to boxes and forgotten. But it’s signed. And even though I’m still very bitter I’m willing to give it a shot. But I don’t have high hopes.

Listen to the Echos, The Ray Bradbury Interviews by Sam Weller, to continue with the books I’m bitter about and have been putting off reading. This book is also signed and the signing is the part that I’m a little bitter about. Again backstory time. So there’s two things you should know. One is that my school would host some pretty cool events from time to time with dinners and what not with authors or other people in the arts and one of my best college friends and her family went to this school fancy dinner at, I believe, the school’s President’s home and they very sweetly got me this book. What kills me on the inside is the signing.

Lauren!

A gift from the —– family!

Live Forever!

Sam Weller

Now you might be like well it is a gift, right? True. But the kicker. The painful kicker was that Sam Weller was my teacher. I was in his Ray Bradbury class at the time this was signed. I spent an entire semester learning about what made Ray Bradbury who he was and how his short stories and works created a ripple effect that gave us so many beloved movies, stories and idioms we have today. I loved that class. I planned to get this book myself and get it signed because I enjoyed it and the teacher so much. And this is the equivalent of getting “Have a great summer” in your yearbook. Now to be real, he probably didn’t put two and two together and at some point, I could’ve tried to get it re-signed but I didn’t. I should’ve, I wish I did. Because I remember laughing about it and taking the book to class but I chickened out. I think, in all honesty, it has to do with teachers who make huge impacts on you and then forgetting who you are when you’re not in class with them. My college departmental advisor just completely forgot who I was when I went to visit after graduating. I get it. I do, but it sure does sting.

Breverton’s Nautical Curiosities by Terry Breverton which is a delightful book about nautical things, another passion of mine from growing up. I’ve never sat down and read it but I’ve flipped through it many a time.

Feeding Hannibal a Connoisseur’s Cookbook by Janice Poon. I loved this TV show and I’m forever in awe of Janice Poon and how she made the food look appetizing but also vaguely human (gross, very gross) while also edible for the cast. I bought this in Korea at the Seoul Comic Con and brought it home.

Healing Herbal Teas: A Complete Guid to Making Delicious, Healthful Beverages by Brigitte Mars, A.H.G. I don’t know if you know this but I love tea. I’m warming up to coffee in the same way I am to booze, as long as I don’t taste it we’re good. But with tea I’m obsessed. This was a gift. I haven’t set about reading it but I am curious about it.

Onto shelf #2

East of Eden by John Steinbeck. I’m not sure if other majors have this but my department while I was there was pretty obsessed with this book. Not teacher’s necessarily but my cohorts talked about it a lot and said they loved it or talked about how it shaped them. So I bought it. Don’t know why since one of the go-to books that drew a lot of students to our school and department because the teacher worked there  creeped me out but hey, willing to give this massive book a try.

The Revenge of the Shadow King by Derek Benz and J.S. Lewis. This is a book that’s been on my shelf a long time. Probably since around when it came out in 2005 that I just kept putting off reading even though I knew I wanted to read it. I’m a sucker for fantasy novels with fey or even a twisty dark vibe to them.

Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev. I’m going to be honest, bought this book because of the cover. It was a pretty art style with faeries of some kind.

The Magicina of Hoad by Margaret Mahy, for a paperback this book is super shiny. Not sure if that’s why I got it or because anything genre tended to grab my attention in high school.

Timeline by Michael Crichton. In my first year of college, my group of friends and I had a secret Santa and the person who had me didn’t have a clue what to get me except books. So he decided to do one of my favorite things ever which was to get me some books that were his favorites. This is one of them that I hadn’t gotten around to reading yet.

Procession of the Dead by Darren Shan. I’ve been saving this one. I spent most of high school and college devouring any nightmarish adventure Darren Shan concocted. The Thin Executioner is still one of my favorites despite being so ghastly. This one though I remember spotting at the store and going “how dare no one tell me he’d come out with a new book?” And grabbing it. However after living overseas so long I’m sure I’m behind on a lot of books and authors I used to keep up to date on before.

The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel: The Sorceress, The Necromancer and the Magician by Michael Scott. You may remember I’ve read the first in this series and did not enjoy it. But I heard from some other readers that the series gets better and since I have these three books as hard backs which aren’t cheap I’m determined to read them and give them a shot before…probably donating them.

Lost in Space by Ben Tanser. My college hosted a literary event every year while I was there called Story Week. They invited authors and publishers and agents to celebrate books and share what they knew and it was free. As a person who volunteered for it several times it means I’m not sure if I bought all the books I own or if I just got some of the books and this is one of them. I know the publisher was big with our school, our teachers and faculty loved Curbside Splendor, but again I don’t know. This isn’t signed so I think it’s a case of I got it to better understand the publisher and then didn’t get around to reading it because I had big paper’s due like every other day and required reading as well as job and club responsibilities. How I got any fun reading done is beyond me.

The Old Neighborhood by Bill Hillmann is one that I’m kind of embarrassed I didn’t read before now. It’s signed and the author came to class to talk to us about his work because he was good friends with our teacher. He seemed pretty cool and still does. He usually does the Running of the Bulls in Spain and actually got pretty injured one year and made international news.

Where’d you go, Bernadette by Maria Semple. I got this book for free as part of “World Book Night U.S. April 23, 2014” which is pretty cool but I did not read it when I think I was supposed to. Nearly over 6 years late on that one. Sorry World Book Night.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I don’t know about this one. Did I get it because movies were being adapted of Ayn Rand’s work? Did I get it because people were talking about it? Did I get it just out of curiosity because her work is so polarising and pretty much as hated as Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey were within my cohort? Was it on a list of books to read? Not a clue. I’ve read Atlas Shrugged since and looking at the size of this book it’s going to be a long journey of tiny print.

The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett. My local public library when I was growing up would participate in a book event where they’d pick a book and then everyone could sign up for that book and they’d host events related to it. Like a big massive book club. Chicago did it too with Neverwhere and many others. I signed up, got the book and then…didn’t read it.

The Princess and the Pirates: The Timelight Stone by Mio Chizuru. This book is a library book. A high school library book that they stamped with rejected and removed all the stuff on it. I assume I got this from a book sale of our library getting rid of books or the librarian just told me she was getting rid of books and since I was working there during my free periods repairing books. The bonus I guess of being a constant presence. It looks like manga but it’s actually a novel, so it’ll be interesting.

Emerald Death by Bill Craig I’m not 100% certain but I’m pretty sure this was from my childhood public library again. It’s signed and I think it was from one of the author events.

The Best of Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet this is like Lost in Space. I bought this so I could better understand the publication because my genre teachers were full of praise for Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet and honestly loved the style. But got too busy to read it. I’m sure I have another collection or two for a different publisher in my boxes somewhere but that can wait. I’ve never really been one to read anthologies or collections of short stories so these types of books usually fall a bit on my TBR list. But I should read them.

Push and The Kid by Sapphire. Both of these are signed and were from a literary event while I was in college through the Harold Washington Library. I think I attended an interview at the library where she discussed her work. From what I remember I know these books aren’t going to be the happiest so I am pretty sure that’s why I’ve set them aside.

The final shelf time.

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.  I borrowed this book in high school from my dad because we were supposed to read it in English and then…never did. I don’t know why. We probably we got too busy in the other books we were supposed to read that we also never finished. Like Julius Ceaser by Shakespeare that we just stopped reading after he died. So, thank you, Dad, for letting me keep it along with all the others.

The Three Theban Plays by Sophocles, this book is pretty beaten up but I always grab classics even if 70% of the time I hate them. This was probably for a class, quite possibly the most frustrating class I ever took, or I found it cheap somewhere.

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo I picked this up in Paris. Pretty sure I read some copy of this in high school in French and I’ve seen the musical in Korean and the movie version as well as the old film of the musical my French teacher had…but we’ll see how I remember it as I go with the translated English.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. I also got this in Paris. I’ve never read it but after learning about how it single handedly saved Notre Dame I feel like I have to.

Redwall: The Rogue Crew by Brian Jacques. This is the last book Brain Jacques wrote that was published posthumously. I loved Redwall so much and I’m pretty sure I’ve read almost every novel Brian Jacques wrote. When he died I was heartbroken and I got the book but just couldn’t bring myself to read it.

Artemis Fowl the Atlantis Complex by Eoin Colfer, I loved the Artemis Fowl series when I was younger and I really want to jump into this book which is book 7 in the series but I think I’m going to have to go back through my boxes and find the rest of them before reading book seven. It’s been waaaayyyy too long.

The Faeman Quest by Herbie Brennan is another series I absolutely adored when I was younger. Again it’s another where it’s been so long I’ll probably have to re-read the previous books in The Faerie Wars Chronicles to fully understand what’s going on here.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman. Up to this point I was fairly good at reading all of Neil Gaiman’s works. And attending any event he had in Chicago. This one I remember going to with a bunch of friends at the Music Box theater and then staying up late with them to get it signed. It was a fun event but I was saving it to read later since it’s a small book.

Silas Marner by George Eliot not sure where this one came from but I haven’t read it so here it is. I recognize the title though but don’t know why.

A Confusion of Princes by Garth Nix. I love books by Garth Nix he’s one of those authors in Zombies vs Unicorns but I haven’t gotten around to reading this one or even finishing the series of his I started and loved when I was younger. (I don’t like things to end)

Swords of Riverside by Ellen Kushner. This has harlequin romance vibes from the cover but also older fantasy/historical novel vibes. Don’t know where I got it or why but it’ll be interesting for sure. Very curious to see which it falls into or if just the long hair blown back by invisible wind on the male character was just for fun.

Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld, middle school/high school me might not have jumped on the Uglies train whenever one else did but I apparently went ahead and got this book by the author. (Fun fact he’s also in Zombies vs Unicorns). I assume I grabbed it because of the familiar author name and the steampunk vibe of the cover.

Seven Sorcerers by Caro King has a spooky-looking cover with magic vibes, my go to when I was younger.

Changeling by Delia Sherman, when I tell you any sort of fantasy fey adventure or magic novel usually ended up on my shelf just because it fell into that category I’m not joking. This cover is kinda creepy and weird but I can see why I got it because of the title. Oh boy.

These are the books that I plan to read for the most part of the rest of this year. Mixing in e-books and maybe some old ones. There are more books on my bookcase but those are reference or books I’ve read but didn’t remember until I started making this list and realized I had. I also have several books that I didn’t realize were book 6 of a series where I haven’t read or own book one through five. So that’s going to require being set aside until I can check books out from the library. (I’m putting it off because I’m trying to figure out how to renew my library card that’s been inactive for over 5 years during a pandemic)

Anyway wish me luck.

What are some books you’ve had on your shelf for a long time and haven’t gotten rid of but also haven’t read yet?

TBR Bookcase tour I'm officially reunited with about 90% of my things. It's weird. Very very weird but I feel like there's some stable ground beneath my feet.

[ptilopseth]

LiSETH ft. wingman marina

hi guys i finally wrote a thing, it’s kinda dumb, RIP mobile users

[LISA🎸: Omg! Haha really

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: yeah there were no lights in there either Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: blake had to bring in richs studio light it was great Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: i mean at least the coffee was good??

LISA🎸: What kind of coffee was it??

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: snickerdoodle. and cookies too that shit slapped

LISA🎸: Nice!! I think I'm going to make snickerdoodle cookies for Roselia's next practice LISA🎸: Do you want to help?

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: hell yeah brother! save some for the sound guy :p

LISA🎸: Haha of course! Next practice is Wednesday so I was thinking about getting a head start tomorrow LISA🎸: Are you off?

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: later in the day yeah, popipa wants to do a gig at circle in the evening Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: if u meet me at circle around like 6ish we can get started Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: anything i should bring

LISA🎸: Sounds good!✨ LISA🎸: Nope! I have everything I need

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: hell ya.. im gonna bip now since i kinda gotta be up early for prep or else marinas gonna poon me

LISA🎸: Night! Good luck with PoPiPa tomorrow💙

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: kasumis a handful but the rest of them are okay gsdkjghk Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: night!!💚]

"Cheers!" All five members of Poppin' Party, plus Seth and Marina, clink their plastic glasses together in celebration of another successful live show. Kasumi, ecstatic as always, gets half a smile from Arisa, who pleads for Saya to help her. O-Tae and Rimi make small-talk about how they can synchronize their instruments more, while Marina and Seth make idle talk while Seth packs up. "Where are you going, Seth? I thought you liked to stay behind for a little bit." "Prior reservation, Marina." Seth zips his signature green backpack up and hoists it onto a shoulder. "I normally would, but this is really important." "Like, bad important?" "Nah. Just important." Marina raises an eyebrow. It's rare that Seth leaves early, but when he does, it's critical business. "What'cha doing, then? If you don't mind me asking." "Baking cookies." "With who?" "That's classified information." "Just tell me who." "No." "Why not?" "You're going to bully me about it." "I am not! Just tell me who it is." "Lisa." Marina laughs. "Lisa? I knew you liked her- I just didn't expect you two to be going on a date this early." "Shut the fuck up, Marina. I hate you." Seth takes a sip of his drink- Brisk raspberry tea- to cover the fact that he's clearly very flustered. "What's wrong with liking Lisa? You two would be cute together!" "Yukina and Sayo would probably kill her, Ako's a wild card, and Rinko... Rinko's fine. But the first two of them would get mad." "Why?" "They'd be all like, oh, 'Lisa, you're no longer totally dedicated to Roselia, either dump him or dump the band.' And I don't wanna be the reason she has to give up Roselia." "There's no guarantee they'd be mad, Seth. I mean, those reactions are a little in-character, but- it's best to be honest, you know?" "I do know." Seth opts to look at his drink instead of Marina. "I just don't wanna be honest." "Seth..." The person in question picks his head up. "Aren't you and Lisa already great friends? Her face lights up when she sees you! I can tell she's interested in what you like- I mean, she asked for another one of your Letterbomb shirt, right? And she always saves a pastry for you after practices. I think she's already a step ahead of you." "I hate when you're right." "Heh. Of course you do. Just ask her out, you big idiot." "No promises." The doorbell of CiRCLE rings, and in walks Lisa herself, dressed in her usual casualwear plus a fluffy beige coat and small messenger bag to serve as her purse. "Hiya, Lisa!" Kasumi says, turning to wave to her. Lisa gives an enthusiastic wave back, complete with her signature smile, before heading on over to where Marina and Seth are milling about." "Hey, you two! How was it?" Lisa asks, bubbly as ever. "Smashing success. Initial sounded fantastic." Seth replies. Marina nods in agreement. "Do you need help with anything, Marina? Just while I'm here, you know." "Nope. You're free to go." Marina nudges Seth in the arm as a sort of "go have fun on your date" message. "Okay! You ready, Seth?" "I've never baked before, but I'm sure I can figure it out." Seth finishes his tea and begins to walk out of CiRCLE with Lisa, throwing away his cup near the door. "Seth!" Marina calls as he's just about to exit. Seth, as well as Lisa, turn around, to see Marina giving an enthusiastic thumbs-up to her sound engineer. Seth replies with a thumbs-down, to which Marina shakes her head. Seth and Lisa turn back around. "What was that?" Lisa asks. "Dunno." Seth shrugs, and the two of them continue walking towards Lisa's place. [bandori 'five minutes later' introduction card] "-So I guess there were some hitches with Kasumi's vocals at the end, but I think that's 'cause I set the gain too high and just forgot to change it. Like- their vocals all go into separate channels, so there's no way I would've, like, turned it up for Rimi's part and forgot to have changed it, but, like, who knows." "I'm glad it went well, though. Didja have fun?" "Oh- yeah, of course. I'm kinda sad you weren't able to be there for Initial. it was fuckin' great." "I know, right? I remember hearing it when you drove me to school the other day. Which, by the way- thank you." "Oh, no problem. And Garret says I drive the Slowbalt..." Seth sighs, remembering how the two of them still arrived to school at eight despite Lisa saying she was running over that morning. Lisa laughs, and the two of them continue walking until Lisa pipes up as they reach her house. "Um, Seth?" Lisa stops walking, and Seth follows suit. "Yeah?" "Can we talk? It's nothing bad, I promise." "Huh? Yeah, sure. What's poppin'?" "Well... Yukina might get mad at me for doing this, but... I really like you. And I was wondering... if you wanted to be my boyfriend?" "Uh- I mean- I, uh- hm." "Sorry." "No, no! I just- I don't want to get you kicked out of Roselia. Because I know they mean a lot to you, and I didn't know how Yukina would react, and... you really care about me that much?" "Of course I do, or else I wouldn't have asked." "I... do want to be your boyfriend, Lisa. I love you." Lisa flashes a bright smile at Seth. "I love you too."

[LISA🎸: Thanks for helping me tonight! Couldn't have done it without you✨

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: no problem

LISA🎸: You ok?

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: brainfreaked over being ur bf

LISA🎸: Sorry haha LISA🎸: If it makes you uncomfortable we can work something out

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: no no that's not it, dw! its just weird Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: bassist of roselia and the sound engineer of circle dating.. wack timeline

LISA🎸: I don't think so LISA🎸: Do you mean that like 'I can't believe Lisa and I got together' or?

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: ya

LISA🎸: Aw Seth :( LISA🎸: Don't say stuff like that LISA🎸: I wouldn't have fallen in love with you without lots of good reasons LISA🎸: I can list them even

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: fire away

LISA🎸: Well you're super smart- you're taking three math classes after all LISA🎸: You know a billion more things about sound engineering than I do and that's saying something LISA🎸: You're super creative and I love seeing your stuff even if you don't like it LISA🎸: (BTW that last part of Letterbomb was really good, I think you did a good job with the fight scene) LISA🎸: And you're funny too, not to mention cute LISA🎸: There's a million things I see in you that you might not see in yourself LISA🎸: But I'm here to remind you of those things!⭐️

Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: [crying_cat.jpeg] Space Ishtar's Boyfriend: thank u sm lisa ilu

LISA🎸: No problem!! I love you💙]

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You?

So here’s a neat little bit of trivia: back in the 80s, my grandmother actually had her own video store. Obviously a little indie video store wasn’t gonna survive competition from something like Blockbuster or all the other options that began popping up around the time, so she ended up closing it, and my parents ended up with a lot of the VHS tapes, which of course I ended up watching. A lot of my favorite films and movies I’m really nostalgic for came from those VHS tapes, such as Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, InHumanoids: The Movie, and Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend - all great candidates for reviews. Frankly, not sure why I haven’t reviewed InHumanoids already… but I digress. I bring this all up because there is one specific VHS I want to talk about.

But first, let’s talk about Dr. Seuss.

Dr. Seuss, as you may know, is one of the greatest children’s authors of all time. The guy churned out classic after classic, creating timeless works featuring wondrous landscapes, fantastical locales, and colorful characters like the Lorax, the Grinch, and the Cat in the Hat. He’s also known for having extremely crappy films based off of his books, but that wasn’t always the case; back in the day, Seuss worked on animated specials based on his stuff, working with everyone from Chuck Jones to Ralph Bakshi. Dr. Seuss was truly a creative genius whose works have stood the test of time.

[Except this one]

Tonight’s work is one that is actually not based on any sort of preexisting book, and was one of those bizarre VHS tapes I watched over and over as a child. And tonight’s work is one that I’m not going to review in the traditional sense; oh no, this one is getting something special. Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You? is akin to Freddie as F.R.0.7. in my mind as something it is far more fun to just explain than to truly dissect, so instead of a true review, I am going to do a sort of recap of the plot before giving you a verdict on whether this insane special is worth your time.

So, let’s get right into this:

Pontoffel Pock, our titular hero, has a job at a pickle factory, and he has the simplest job you could possibly imagine: he pushes the lever “Pushum” and pulls on the chain “Pullum” and the pickles go into the jar (as the song helpfully informs us. Oh yeah, this is a musical. That’s somewhat important). So with such a simple job, it would be pretty inconceivable to fuck it up, right? Well, that’s because you are most likely not a colossal failure on the level of Pontoffel Pock, who SOMEHOW confuses the Pushum and Pullum and ends up destroying the entire factory, which leads to him getting fired. Did I mention this was his first day and immediately before fucking up he was explained what his job was?

[You had ONE fucking job, Pontoffel Pock]

Dejected and alone, Pock goes home and plays basketball on his roof as an homage to Clerks. Please ignore that this animation came out nearly two decades before Clerks. I would like to take a moment to point out that Pock’s house is exactly as weird and impractical a homestead as any you might see in a Seuss work - and the fact it’s a dilapidated mess because Pock can’t hold down a job only makes it even more odd. In his misery and sorrow, Pock wishes he could get away from it all… and he gets his chance, because the Amalgamated Do-Gooding Fairies come down from the heavens and grant him a magical flying piano that will take him anywhere in the world if he plays the proper notes (C, C, C, D, D#, E, for those wondering).

Gifted with this incredible magical gift, and with the entire world at his disposal, Pontoffel Pock does what any normal human being would do: he shows off and acts like a douchebag. Teleporting to Groogen, a sort of German-Switzerland mashup country, Pock freaks the locals out with his flying piano, and gets shot down by their paint cannon known as the Goomy Gun, because nothing in a Dr. Seuss work can have a normal name. Pock returns home, and naturally McGillicuddy, the head fairy, is pissed as fuck at Pock for being a douchey show-off and nearly wrecking the piano right off the bat.

[Dunno what he expected from the moron who wrecked a pickle factory]

Thankfully, McGillicuddy is a kind and merciful fairy, a bit more Seelie than Unseelie. He gives Pock one more chance, so the question now becomes: How can Pock fuck this up? Well let’s find out as he travels to Casbahmopolis, the Seuss version of the Middle East. Considering what a colossal moron Pock is, it should surprise absolutely no one that he falls in love with the first scantily clad belly dancer woman he sees; that girl is Neefa Feefa, who contrary to the previous sentence is NOT a belly dancer, but rather an… eyeball dancer. No, she doesn’t dance on eyeballs, she’s just dressed in an outfit that covers everything but her eyes. It’s kind of an amusing parody of belly dancers.

[Behold, the greatest waifu of all time]

Lucky for Pock, Neefa Feefa is the only woman in the world as stupid as him, and she immediately falls for him as well. Unfortunately, she’s stuck fucking dancing for the king, a job she hates, and she wishes she could get away from it all. To her credit, she actually has a real, genuine reason to want to get out of her current position, unlike Pontoffel “First World Problems” Pock. Pock seems to realize this, and in one of his exceedingly rare moments of badassery, singlehandedly infiltrates the palace of the king to save this girl he barely knows. Sure, it’s stupid and cliche, but so far Pock has been nothing but be a showboating weenie; here he goes Solid Snaking his way through a palace full of armed guards to save a woman, that takes some pretty big balls.

Of course, this is Pontoffel Pock we’re talking about; he manages to fuck things up somehow. The guards manage to bust the Homing Pigeon Switch of his piano, which would allow him to zap right back to the dump he calls a house, and when he tries to go somewhere else Neefa Feefa slips into the clutches of the guards and the piano goes on the fritz, leading Pock to desperately try any keys he can in an attempt to get back. At this time, the fairies are getting worried, seeing as they haven’t heard from Pock in ages, and so set out on a massive manhunt to find him, singing “Pontoffel Pock, Where the Fuck Heck Are You?” This is the part where our hero finally triumphs. Pock suddenly out of the blue remembers the proper switch and zaps back to save his imprisoned beloved, so of course… he crashes the piano into the tower.

[Pictured: A man who can do literally nothing right]

Neefa Feefa sends out a prayer, and thankfully it is heard by the fairies, who descend from the heavens and save everyone’s ass. Pontoffel Pock’s quest to get some poon seemingly impresses the boss at the pickle factory, because not only is Pock rehired, but Neefa Feefa gets hired there too, and apparently the dress codes are extremely lax there as she gets to wear her eyeball dancer outfit to work. Pock manages to get away scot free despite fucking everything up and manages to get a hot girl and a stable job, so I guess the moral of the story is “Going to great lengths to get pussy will make up for all of your constant fuckups.”

[Huh. I guess The Lorax was right]

So that was Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You? and I think it goes without saying this is one weird, quirky, and unique animated story. It’s not very long and is a bit corny and cliche, and the shortness doesn’t do much favors to the story as it leads to things feeling a bit rushed, but quite frankly it all adds to the silly, Seussy charm. The animation, the designs, and just all the wacky creativity on display here is Seuss at his best, and frankly it’s hard to hate a story of a man who fucks up his pickle factory job and gets a magical flying piano from fairies so that he can score with a belly dancer.

I really wish this was more well-known than it is. God knows this deserves it. It’s just so charmingly weird. If you like weird and silly animated things or the work of Dr. Seuss, this is something to check out, though if you’re a huge fan of the latter you may already know this. I don’t think this is really something that deserves to be held up alongside the greats like The Grinch or The Lorax, but I think it deserves an honorable 3rd place alongside those two; this is an underrated obscure gem if there ever was one.

Now I’m going to sit back and pray that this review becomes popular enough to get people to draw Neefa Feefa porn.

[Real talk: This is the only reason I wrote this review]

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Yaaaaay! My big-dick regular just reached out to my for an appointment for this weekend!!!

All my regulars are officially BACK!!!

Although, Jason has yet to actually REQUEST an appointment but I think he had to quit his job because of surgery.

But I’m so happy Derrick is back. I know he love this poon because I raised my rate and he’s STILL coming back to lil mama! 😂😂😂

I guess that new girl he tried to see during his hiatus wasn’t cutting it for him! HAAAAAAAAAA! 😂😂😂

This is great, though, because I still haven’t paid my electricity bill… 😩

But for reals, this is perfect because he came just when I was needing a distraction from Dexter…!

[nathanjhill]

Do you deserve a break?

Scripture: Nehemiah 13:15-22

On Wednesday night, I was sitting in a church meeting at our regional office. It was late. Past 9 PM. It had been a long day with a ton of stuff on my plate. So I tweeted out a mild complaint - “I’m stuck in a church meeting - someone get me out of here.” And one of my friends on Twitter, Jason Poon, replied:

"Someone preach the theology of Sabbath to these people!!!"

Like many of you, I live a hectic life. As your pastor, my schedule is crowded with meetings and demands. Sometimes, I stay late into the night here at the church in vital conversation with you about the future of our church and how our ministry can bring Christ’s compassion to our community. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love it and believe in the mission God has given us - but I am the first to admit that sometimes it wears me out. Sometimes, I get tired.

Our church is made up of full-time students, federal employees, Uber drivers, teachers, contractors, consultants, and professionals of all kinds - each of you who knows this struggle - doing something that pays the bills and brings you joy but also wears you down. And even for our retirees in our church, some of you are busier after you retired than when you were working full-time.

Work is a gift - but friends, on this Labor Day weekend when we reflect on the gift of getting things done and enjoy a long weekend, I want to ask a practical but theological question -

Do you deserve a break?

In our capitalistic culture, we are taught and encouraged to work hard from a young age.

However, when we talk about vacation and rest in our culture, too often we treat them as luxuries, something that you must earn. Not everyone deserves a day off. Vacation is accrued. We call them benefits. We’ll pay you to work here, and as a bonus we’ll let you take a couple of days off every so often. Of course, those higher up on the food chain tend to have all the benefits they desire.

Too many struggling families have to make life or death choices over what they dare risk missing work for. Too many individuals could use a day off to deal with trauma and pain in their lives but cannot afford to do so. Too many bosses see a worker taking a day off as an annoyance rather than the best thing they can provide.

The word I want to focus on in my question at the core of this sermon is “deserve”.

Do we deserve time away from the hard work and stress of life?

Do we deserve the dignity of being able to recharge and refresh ourselves?

Do we deserve opportunities for self-care and self-love?

Do we deserve a chance to free our bodies from catering to the demands of others and instead experience being with God?

Whether or not you deserve a break is a question and a value that God is adamantly concerned about throughout scripture.

In our reading this morning, we pick up in the middle of the memoirs of Nehemiah, a Jewish leader and reformer who was tasked with helping his people return from exile and rebuild Jerusalem and their beloved temple. Jerusalem and its temple were at the center of Jewish religious and political life. This was a monumental task to be undertaken with great care and hard work.

Stone by stone, gate by gate, building by building, Nehemiah helped the people begin to put back the pieces of their homeland, torn apart by conquering armies years before.

In the midst of their efforts, Nehemiah’s people discover a scroll hidden away behind a wall in the temple, stashed there for safekeeping when the invaders toppled the walls and pillaged their capital. The scroll is a book of law, containing instructions for how to live according to God’s way. When Nehemiah himself hears these words, he tears his clothes out of grief for how much the people had forgotten how to live as their Creator asked.

Among those ways of God that the people had let drift from being central to their lives was Sabbath.

Deuteronomy 5:12-15 reads:

Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. For six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you. Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day.

The Sabbath day was meant to be holy, but as human beings do, we find loopholes in our rules and regulations. Some ancient Jews no doubt asked, “Work is prohibited on the Sabbath, but can’t I go shopping? Shopping isn’t work.” Or, “If we Jews aren’t doing the physical labor, isn’t it okay to assign the work to those foreigners over there?” In Jerusalem, Nehemiah discovered that on Sabbath the gates of the city were left open so that those foreign merchants, who maybe didn’t have to follow the rules like the Jews did, could come in with their food trucks, credit card offers, same day delivery, and fine boutiques to the delight of the residents.

Nehemiah in his effort to restore the glory of his beloved city knew that rebuilding the walls would be useless if the people did not rebuild their care for the life-giving ways of God - if they did not restore the respect for the holiness and sacredness of their lives. Sabbath was intended to be a distinctive practice that shaped the people apart from the ways of the world. Sabbath challenged them to worship God rather than money, consumption, and stuff.

So Nehemiah commanded the gates to be shut, shutting out the marketing, so that on Sabbath, his people might rest and take a day off from moneymaking and wealth generation and buying and selling and improving their status and filling their closets.

For one day a week, shut the gates, so that all people might join Creation in rest.

Sabbath was not just for human beings - but for everything:

In God’s Sabbath, even the livestock that provide us with meat and milk and eggs deserve a break.

In God’s Sabbath, even those who aren’t like you or those lower on the economic ladder - even those who were “slaves” of ancient Israel - and those who are victims of modern day slavery - or stuck in minimum wage jobs - even they deserve the dignity of a day of rest.

Sabbath speaks directly to the reality that human beings too often treat each other as livestock. We treat fellow human beings no different or worse than we treat the animals. We treat each other as animals of burden to help us achieve what we want, creatures to be loaded up and worked to the bone until we can replace them with the next low-skilled laborer in line.

Sabbath is resistance to that - Sabbath affirms the value of all human beings and the value of all living things in Creation.

And when we begin to practice Sabbath, we might begin to imagine a world where there is no more slavery and economic ladders and rat race and debt.

The good news of God is that we all deserve a break, a day off, a time to relax, refresh ourselves, and feed our souls.

Nehemiah shut the gates of the city to create that possibility for the people of Jerusalem -

Will we shut the gates in our lives so that we may return to a cycle of rest with God and all of Creation?

What are some ways we can do this?

We can take a break from success. Our society teaches us to crave success. If we aren’t climbing the ladder, then we are going nowhere. Success is wonderful, but God is far more interested in our faithfulness. We must shut the gate to the idea that we are only worth what we do and achieve in life. We are more than our accomplishments and our failures. We are God’s beloved, and that is enough for today.

We can receive mental health care. All of us will experience times in our lives when it is life-giving and sacred to get help to deal with the stress, anxiety, and pain we carry. I am always happy to meet with you as your pastor and do my best to listen and pray together, but a trained licensed professional can help any of us sort through the burdens we carry so that our bodies, minds, and souls may rest. It is never a shameful thing to seek help. And if you don’t need it, maybe you will encounter someone this week who does. Here are two numbers to remember - National Suicide Hotline - 1-800-273-8255, UMD Counseling Center - (301) 314-7651

We deserve to be with our people. This may be family, this may be a circle of friends, this may be people who know your journey best and can understand you better than anyone else. Sometimes, this is your church family - but sometimes, even your church family can’t be this for you. We all deserve space where we don’t have to perform for each other. Where we can be who we are just as we are. Where we can shut our walls and be who God created us to be. Do you have people like that in your life? Do you have space like this in your life? If not, you truly deserve it.

We deserve no more church meetings that go past 9 PM. (Haha)

Black feminist author Audrey Lorde wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Our Sabbath practice as Christians is resistance to a world and society that often seeks to devalue and degrade our human dignity - some more than others. In God, our humanity and our bodies are celebrated as temples where God’s Spirit dwells.

Yes, we deserve a break.

May we work for a world where all living things experience rest. May we care for ourselves and each other. May we take a break along with Creation